Phuket made me lazy

cozumel-657955_1920Twenty-four.

The number of entries sitting in my drafts.  What is wrong with me?  I used to be very consistent at keeping my posts regular.  But for the past few months, I have been lagging behind.

I’m trying to wrap my mind around, what could be the reason why I’m making laziness my new best friend?

It’s not that the motivation is not there, I love blogging – it keeps me sane. I like the liberating feel of writing, especially when thoughts somehow magically turns into words and my fingers just fly across the keyboard.

I love to write. Period.  I don’t even care if someone actually bothers to read my blogs.  I write for me.  Because, it makes me happy. It’s my therapy.

But why is it that I’d rather want to curl in bed at the end of a work-day?

I think one of the main reason why I haven’t been writing much lately, is because I’ve moved to Phuket.  I’ve been working and living here for over a year now, yet somehow I’ve never felt at home in the island.  While Phuket is indeed beautiful – but to me it felt that it also stole my creative streak.

In comparison, while living in Bangkok metro, I pursue other interests.  I paint, write, and always on with DIY projects one after another.

Phuket made me lazy.

I’m not sure if my newly acquired “laziness” has something to do with how laid back the life in the island is.  But since moving here I have not made any effort at all to wake up an hour early before my alarm and indulge in some quiet time to just think and pray.

I don’t  have the answers yet…why I’m becoming something that I’m not…

I just pray that this is just a passing thing…that soon, I will be able to regain back what this place stole from me.

 

 

 

 

2016…and it’s a wrap!

letgoandmoveforwardI’m a little behind with my writing this year.  Quite frankly, 2016 has been one of the toughest year for me.

Since beginning of December I have been thinking of how to wrap up this year’s blog. And…..nothing.  My brain just wouldn’t focus on one specific topic to write about – and despite of all the negativity…I really want to end this year on a high note.

 

As this turbulent year comes to its close, I would rather want to focus the positives and the things I have learned throughout the year.

Here are the things  I have learned this year.  (Monthly excerpts from my journal)

  1. There is Triumph in Unanswered Prayers.  This may seem weird to some, but this year I have come to understand the reason behind the unanswered prayer I had for years.  Just be patient, there is always a reason behind. beautiful
  2. Happiness is synthetic.  We always hear people say “Happiness is a choice.”  It’s as simple as you either create it or you don’t.joy
  3. End things where there is no chance of improved future interactions.  It’s always not easy to let go of things/people that we have grown attached to over the years.  However, if despite our best efforts if the behavior or the situation remains the same.  Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and let go of the those toxicity in life. toxic
  4. Inspire others.  In order to nurture and inspire human spirit, one must be first and foremost an inspiration. This is probably one of the toughest lesson.  If you’re not an inspiration…..then what are you?inspire.jpg
  5. People will talk, let them.  Learn to ignore those mundane village talk.  The best defense is to smile and ignore.  Remember, humans will never understand the language of the ants.  positive
  6. It’s always easy to clean your mess when someone is helping. A mess is always easier to clean when you have someone helping you.  Sometimes we rely too much in our independence and our ability to rationalize things, that we forgot to invite our Father to help us clean the mess … the mess that mostly we ourselves created.letgod
  7. Tough days shouldn’t break your spirit. baddays
  8. Stop comparing yourself with others.  Take pride in the person that you have become. be-you
  9. Failure is not the end.  According to Winston Churchill, “Success consist of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”  fairlure
  10. What consumes your mind controls your heart.  Have you ever thought that whatever you think the most will likely manifest in your life?  Thus if you fill your mind with negativity, then negative things will follow you wherever you go.train
  11. A small twinkle creates the brightest glow.  Sometimes, the best things comes from small and most often underrated things in life. bestthings
  12. Better things are coming. I have learned that hope is one of the greatest virtue one could ever imbibe.  Don’t give up on things….there is always hope of the better things to come.hopeandfaith

 

Opps, my bad! I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an Adult! (How to Handle Childish Adults)

Some people never grow up completely.  

Unfortunately to some of us, we see them everyday at work.  

Here are some signs you are dealing with childish adult and how to handle them.suit-673697_1280

1. Attention Seekers:

These people are actually pathetic.  They crave for attention all the time, this usually reflects a deep-seated lack of self-worth and self-confidence.  Although they are pathetic, they will eventually get in your nerves and can be very annoying.

How to Handle:

Don’t give them the attention they need.  As difficult as it may be, simply excuse yourself when they start talking about themselves.  If they are bragging their achievements on social media, don’t give them the satisfaction of hitting that “like” button.  Doing so, will only feed their abnormal need for validation.

2. Whiners:

Nothing is ever quite right with these people.  They are never completely happy about anything.  If you say that it’s a nice day, they’ll probably reply that it’s going to rain tomorrow.  All they ever do is whine, whine and whine.

How to Handle:

Don’t join in the complaining or start whining yourself.  Whining is CONTAGIOUS, if you’re not careful you’ll soon become the whiner’s buddy.  Just change the subject and try to shift focus from past problems to future goals.  If the behavior persists, you may simply want to avoid these people.

3. Tattletales:

They love to tell stories and ratting out to colleagues.  Other times, they will embellish it to make it sound even more dramatic.  Again, this is blatantly childlike.

How to Handle:

If the information is inaccurate, let the tattler know this is erroneous.  If the information is accurate, please ask the tattler to please share concerns that are productive.  Needless to say, tattlers need to be directly confronted.

4. Forming Cliques:

They eat lunch together, work and talk exclusively to one another & etc.  In short, you see them together all the time!    The point is they see themselves as special, and they probably did the same thing in middle school.

How to Handle:

These are silly people, it will not be rewarding to interact with them.  Be friendly when you have to work with them on projects and simply ignore them the rest of the time.


DISCLAIMER:  This is a personal blog, that fact means nothing 🙂 ! It is not a product of strict grammar gatekeeping and editing.  But it does mean something to me, the ideas and thoughts are often important (again to me) and most often, product of a long gestational period in the drafts folder….while the writing itself is not.  Usually, as ideas come from the gray matter to the keyboard are – spontaneous, unproofed, unrevised and corrected afterward only when necessary.  

 

 

I feel blessed…thank you, for your birthday wishes….

I’m touched with all the birthday wishes I have received from all of you.  I must admit I’m useless in keeping in touch with everyone, but thank you for all your thoughtfulness.girl-1245731_1280

I know a lot of people freak out about birthdays…but not me, I  just let it pass like any other day – no biggie!  Ideally, I’d rather spend a quiet day at home.

But like every year, I spend it at work.  It’s pretty much a regular day for me…something that I will have to repeat all over again next year. Besides,  I’ve never been much of a worrier about age, well what can I say…that no amount of Botox can change the fact that I’m 40?

So, I’m not really fretting about age and birthdays (mine at least!) and since I’m not in a business of attracting men – the decay that age brings year after year doesn’t bother me.

What can I really say now that I’m 40?  It does seem like an awful big milestone….considering this year was extra challenging.  Maybe what I can really say that despite of everything I still have many blessings to count.

I have my two lovely girls Kate and Ashley, who anchor and mean the whole world to me.  My parents, my brother for their boundless love and support…my relatives and  friends for the love, love, love.

Truly my dears you have proven that love and concern transcends

the boundaries of time, distance and physical encounters.

So another year…a few more wrinkles here and there…..but it’s all worth it.  My continued existence is proof that the Lord has been faithfully forgiving to me.  Shaping me from within, filling that hole in my heart, keeping me in check that life is not all about me…..rather urging me to focus above.

Thank you Lord for another year.

Ashley at 10!

paoTo my sweet youngest daughter Ashley, in few hours, you’ll be 10!

I can’t believe how fast time went by.  Another birthday celebration away from you…although I feel a bit sad missing out on your party, the candle blowing and unwrapping of gifts. I hope you know in your heart that you’ll be in my thoughts all throughout your special day.

In part, I’m writing you this so you’ll remember the many things I wish you to keep as you grow older.  Because there are special parts of you that I want you to hold on to and never change.

1. Stay gentle.  It can be very easy to believe something bad someone says about us—easier to believe than the compliments. Just remember what you believe is what you become

2. Stay sweet.  Take pride that even though the world may disagree,but you still believe it to be a beautiful place.  Do not let pain or bitterness steal your sweetness.

3. Stay thoughtful.  In this selfish, narcissistic world we live in, we need more people like you. Someone, who thinks of others before themselves.

4. Keep your sense of humor.  Period.

5. Keep your creative spirit.  Because the world of reality has its limits but the world of imagination has no bounds.  Keep your passion for drawing and painting…because I know it makes your heart sing.

6. Keep your quirky fashion sense.  I love the fact that you don’t give a hoot if people will stare.  So what, if you wear a pair of cosmic leggings with blaring pink top?  It’s different, yes.  But if that defines who you are… Go on, you’re unique.

7.  Stay kind.  When you are kind you are not only helping others, you are helping yourself.

8.  Keep your humility.  Let your actions tell your story, my dear.

9.  Keep your individuality.  You are amazing. I am your mother and I will always believe in you.  Just because you have different strengths does not mean you are less than others. You are you and that’s what matters.

10. Have fun with life. At times it feels everything goes south on you, convinced that the universe is conspiring against you.  Don’t despair, these are lessons in life, and it’s always a bit easier to swallow a hard pill, with a good dose of humor.

I love you very much my dearest Ashley.  Happy happy birthday.

 

“Halloween-ed” (for Filipinos, it’s our Day of the Dead holiday celebration)

Halloween is coming!  And it’s probably one of my secret favorite holiday.  Why?  Because I’m naturally drawn to all things morbid or downright spooky!graveyard-1417871_640

But seriously, some of you might argue why it shouldn’t be observed because of its pagan origins, but really do we need to drive that wedge between us?   And debate what’s Pagan vs. Christian practices?

From where I come from, the experience is mainly focused in remembering those who went ahead. Especially in my family, it’s that once a year get together of relatives – from different parts of the archipelago (even those relatives living abroad).

It’s that once-a-year-family-time to gather and celebrate the lives of those we’ve loved and lost.

You see, in the Philippines, we celebrate Halloween in a unique way. It’s more like a 3-day celebration.  Starting off, on the eve of October 31st.  Then on November 1, we celebrate the “All Saints Day”, followed by the celebration of “All Souls Day/Day of the Dead” or for us, we call it “Undas” or “Araw ng mga Patay”.

It’s probably one of the festive (that sounds downright wrong) family gathering.  But in reality, we Filipinos celebrate these dates as a “pause button”,  to take a break from our busy lives to spare some time to remember our departed loved ones.

The celebration is usually started off by visiting our dearly departed’s resting places where we take time to light some candles, clean their graves, plant fresh flowers, re-paint the crosses or tombstones. cemetery-1543543_640

And it’s usually a family affair.  From the oldest to the youngest member, everyone is present.  Armed with paint brushes, and cleaning tools, everyone is ready to do their part.

And speaking from experience, it’s not morbid as you may think it is.  The cemeteries all throughout the  country comes alive, with the sheer number of people visiting their loved ones.  It’s very normal to see food, drinks (maybe a bit of alcohol to some) on top of tombs (not very hygienic – but who cares!) and for those richer folks, they will even hire a caterer to be set up at their family’s mausoleum.  Then of course you’ll hear blasting music all around and maybe some dancing – especially when you have sipped one too many vino 😉

It may sound weird to some, but the Philippines’ Day of the Dead is a celebration for the entire family.

Filipinos value family’s strong bonds.  Even in death, our dearly beloved members will never truly leave us….we celebrate their lives – once a year we all gather as a family, to remember their lives, swap stories of the happy memories they have left us.

And to borrow my mom’s wise words, when someone passes in our family “…till we meet again…”

It’s never goodbye, for us…..it’s only, till that one sweet day….

Happy Halloween to all my loves back home!

Happy 12th Birthday, Kate (an open letter to my ate katekate)

12348096_10153143067355178_6609938315721958094_nTo my angel cake….as you celebrate your birthday tomorrow, I would like to take a moment to sit, reflect and thank God for His gift.

You are truly every mother’s dream daughter and I can’t even begin to imagine what I have done to deserve you.

I understand that you won’t be my little angel cake forever…but while your hand still fits in mine and you still call me Mommy, I will relish every second of our journey together.

Before I know it, time will come when you think that all I have to say is annoying or cheesy.  But for now, while you’re still not too embarrassed to hug me like you mean it….here are 12 things I want you to remember on your 12th birthday:

  1. You can always talk to mommy.
  2. Always love your sister. Love each other. I can’t emphasize this enough, but having a sister is probably one of the best things in life. You have each other, life-long BFF.
  3. Write. The best coach you’ll ever have is yourself.  Your thoughts are precious, write them down and read them.  It will give you a better perspective about yourself and where you are at a particular time in your life.
  4. Don’t be a people pleaser. Period
  5. Don’t take yourself seriously. Learn to laugh at your own quirks.
  6. Keep your personal space clean. The state of your place reflects the state of your mind.  It’s impossible to think straight in a cluttered room.
  7. Beauty is a state of mind. Love yourself at no matter what size or condition.
  8. Speak up. Don’t begrudge the world with your point of views.
  9. Nothing on social media is private.Before you post it, imagine it plastered across the billboards. Nationwide.  See what I mean?
  10. You don’t need a significant other to be significant. I wish I’d spent less time thinking I “needed” someone. Enjoy friendships. They usually last longer, anyway.
  11. Rejection is part of life, and sometimes it’s a really good thing. How you handle it is the important part.
  12. Find one true friend. You don’t need lots of friends…one is enough to last you a lifetime.

Just remember anak, that I love you and Paopao so very much…

and as much as I wish to spare you from hardships and pain,  you will have your own journey to make.

My only prayer, is that when you pass those difficult paths alone you’ll come out of it with grace and strength.

Happy Birthday, Kate.

Love,

Mommy